i was away for a bit… and i guess i’ve done some self-reflecting:
 although the fastest way is complete removal, that is also the most cowardly way. but sometimes, being a coward is necessary, especially when the pain is too much to handle.
 "i didn’t sign up for this" always know the terms and conditions before you sign up for anything— whether it be a contract, a lease, a survey, or a relationship. (common sense)
 treasure the people around you, and make sure they know. you only have one life and sometimes, one chance to show a person how much they truly mean to you. take nothing for granted.
 "lessons" accumulated from the weekend [what makes it worth it?] > spending effort to see you > listening and being open to what you have to say > putting your needs at least on the same level as their own > respecting you > taking the initiative— showing their sincerity
Note: To save money on non-waterproof eye make-up remover, cry. It works.
i can’t believe it sometimes… knowing that i’ll never see you again, knowing that we’ll never talk again. it’s hard to believe, sometimes, that people go to a better place. because what place could be better than a world where you were surrounded by those you loved and those who loved you with all their hearts?
i think about you often. i wonder if you hear me talking? even though you’re not here with me, i can always still feel you giving me strength— i can still feel your support and your care, when i’m in times of trouble or need. and those have been plentiful this past year.
i can’t believe it’s been a year already. you would’ve been long back by now. we could be talking about our plans for AN this very second… i miss you immensely. everytime i think about you, i cry. is that silly?
things have been really tough lately. i’m doing my best… but sometimes i’m afraid it isn’t good enough. i’ve lost a lot of things in this past year. those things that i can never regain… will it be worth it in the end? or will i always be stuck on them?
you never fully learn to appreciate things until you lose them. but at the same time, you never fully know what’s out in the world until you let go of what’s holding you back… as robert frost says, ”nothing gold can stay" perhaps this world is supposed to be like this… losing things and hurting, maybe it’s all part of a plan, maybe with every loss, with every tear, you learn a little more appreciation and learn to love the world and treasure what you have before your eyes… and finally, there will come an opportunity to find something new or to finally see what you’ve truly been missing…
that’s what i’d like to believe…
… i miss you. sometimes i feel like shouting at you, why aren’t you here?! why did you have to go!? i don’t understand it. i still have a lot of growing to do, afterall.
but i want to show you the world through my eyes… so i pray that i can soon wash away all that is clouding them, all the tears, all the hurt, all the blindness— so i can paint a clear picture of how beautiful our world truly is. you helped me realize this.
“Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.”—Robert Frost
[x] get a job [ ] get my G2 [/] get first aid/cpr certified [ ] clean room [ ] get my smart serve [ ] get a 12 in micro [ ] get a 12 in macro [ ] anime north [ ] get a second job [ ] get a volunteer position [ ] learn to crochet … more to be added
others: - cosplay - make clothes - cooking blog - hang out times :)